Here are my "101 things about me" if anyone cares to read it

1. My son’s father was only 15 when I got pregnant and I was 19
2. I have been a drugstore redhead for almost all of the last 15 years
3. My hair is naturally curly and I like it
4. I have probably 50 pairs of shoes, but usually wear sandals year around
5. I wish I was a little trendier
6. I am going to be 30 in November and I am really stressing out about it
7. My goal in life is to run my household from my bed like some old scary matriarch
8. I have a mild to moderate bi-polar disorder
9. I have never been molested or raped
10. I got kicked out of Busch Gardens last summer
11.I have 3 tattoos and want more but I can’t decide where on my body to get them
12. I hardly ever wear earrings
13. I have acquired 4 cats
14. I made out with my husband at a party when I was 19, but didn’t sleep with him until I was 27
15. During the 8 years in between I never saw him at all
16. I slept with my best friends husband a number of times and I think she knows
17. My husband and I essentially eloped and told our families after the fact
18. Horses and Ferrets try to bite me
19. I have never gotten head lice and think I may be immune to them
20. I have received almost every kind of public assistance available
21. My gay friend has a big crush on my husband
22. I was only engaged for 4 hours before I got married
23. I have had cats named after all four members of Motley Crue and they are all dead now
24. My utilities get turned off on a regular basis because I forget to pay them
25. I only have one pair of socks
26. I have slept with over 40 men and 6 girls
27. I cry really hard at sad movies
28. I make really good forged documents
29. My IQ has been scored at somewhere between 160 and 180, by several different reputable sources
30. I masturbate way too much
31. I have done almost every illegal drug known to man, and hated almost all of them
32. I have really bad asthma and use an inhaler regularly
33. I have never worn a formal gown
34. I graduated from beauty school but never got licensed
35. I don’t like old people very much
36. I have an irrational fear of “little people” (midgets, dwarves, etc.)
37. I hit a deer while driving a Cadillac
38. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 24 years old
39. My dad is gay and his boyfriend hates me
40. I have never had chicken pox
41. I rarely wear underpants
42. I don’t drink because I get really bad hangovers
43. I like to smoke pot and have sex with my husband
44. I got expelled from high school
45. I dated a really fat guy for 4 years because he was in a cool band
46. I enjoy pissing people off
47. I can still recite the entire “LazerWatch” commercial from, like, 1987
48. My mom slept with my boyfriend when I was 14
49. I won’t say that a baby is pretty if it isn’t
50. I lost 40 pounds once because we were too poor to buy food
51. I sleep on my left side
52. I lived with a man who beat me for 6 months
53. He left in an ambulance because I finally beat him up and I got a bettery conviction out of it
54. I smoke a pack a day
55. I love to throw theme parties for every occaision
56. I have moved 13 times in 9 years
57. I hate winter
58. I went to LA to meet a guy I met on the internet
59. I hated him but loved LA
60. I love to fly, and everything about it (airports, duty free shopping, etc)
61. I was a waitress in a coffee shop
62. I collect “Fairies by Dezine”
63 I clean my sons room for him
64. My husband had an affair and I still love him
65. I have restless leg syndrome
66. I was so afraid of Mrs Buttersworth when I was a small child that my mom had to avoid the syrup aisle at the grocery store
67. I was also afraid of butterflies
68. My favorite movie is Summer School with Mark Harmon
69. I got my tubes tied when I was 21
70. I think there is nothing grosser than taking a poop
71. I miss my grandma every minute of every day
72. I get cramps so bad that I spend a good part of the first two days of my period moaning in pain
73. I take Zoloft, but not really as regularly as I should
74. My husband and I have loud, fake, public arguments about whether or not Aunt Bee, from Andy Griffith, was a whore-just to get a reaction from by-standers
75. I have multiple orgasms all the time
76. I only own 3 pairs of jeans, and one is too small
77. I used to be so messy that Child Protection Services came to my house, and now I am obsessively tidy.
78. I have owned 3 sets of Washers/Dryers and left 2 of them behind at former apartments
79. I love sitcoms better than any other type of TV show
80. When I was 9 I met, and got a kiss from, Dean Butler (Little House on the Prairie’s Almonzo)
81. I don’t think I am responsible enough to own a dog
82. I kill almost every plant I share space with
83. I breastfed my son for 100 days, but had to stop because he was starving
84. I love Christmas and still believe in Santa
85. I bought a Prada bag for 20 bucks at Goodwill
86. I got arrested for shoplifting cigarettes when I was 16
87. I had sex with my substitute english teacher when I was 14
88. I have girlcrushes on Fairuza Balk, Angelina Jolie, and the brunette girl from CSI
89. I really don’t care that I am fat
90. I worship Sharon Osbourne because my husband is a lot like Ozzy, and she’s still okay
91. I would be less embarrassed to ride the bus than to drive my crappy car and I feel like a bitch because of it.
92. I have never successfully worn sexy lingirie
93. I love to dance
94. I sing along with the radio, loudly, especially when I am driving
95. I have thought out the perfect murder
96. I am afraid of the ocean because it is so infinite
97. I don’t know how to order most trendy coffee drinks and piss off a lot of hip young Starbucks clerks
98. I wish Frappacino came in 2-liter bottles
99. I stole my roomates deep fryer because I wanted one
100. I think Crack is the most tacky classless drug you can do, people should just do Coke instead
101. I love water parks